Last week I wrote about some common holiday stressors, one of which being gift-giving.
This week I'd like to dive further into this specific stressor and hopefully alleviate some of that anxiety or pressure.
I find it funny that earlier this week I had a friend on Facebook ask this question: "What part of the Christmas season stresses you out?"
Out of 25 answers, "gifts" was mentioned 7 times. Some people said the "unnecessary gift-giving" and some commented on finding the "perfect" gift.
And if you're curious,
6 said people or family.
9 said everything, or the pressure to do it all.
1 said "nothing" - they loved it all. (This person nailed it!)
1 said missing loved ones.
1 said time. (And depending on how you look at it, this could possibly fall under the "everything/pressure" category).
I covered the "unnecessary gift-giving" (along with having to do it all!) in last week's blog post, so if you haven't checked that out yet, I recommend giving it a quick read!
Let's take a look at finding the "perfect" gift.
Yes, it's true that part of the fun of gift-giving is the element of surprise. But I want you to think back to when you used to sit on Santa's lap and ask him for a toy. When you (hopefully!) received it on Christmas morning, were you not still surprised? Were you not still filled with joy?
I had an article sent to me a few days ago that shared information from a paper published in 2011 from the Journal of Experimental Psychology. It noted that "the best gifts are those that people ask for" and that "recipients would prefer receiving what they had requested."
So, the "perfect" gift is actually quite simple. You just have to ask your recipient what it is that they want or need!
The same article also mentions that extravagant gifts aren't necessarily a home run, as "most giftees prefer items that are more usable." So, you don't have to spend a ton of money either for a gift to be great!
Aside from money and gift cards, experiential gifts also top the list of preferred gifts, according to research studies published in 2014 and 2016.
Experiential gifts. My favorite! I absolutely LOVE to give these gifts! (I also love to receive them!)
What could possibly be a better gift than the gift of time?
Presence over presents.
Sure, the "gift" could be concert tickets or travel vouchers. But it also could just be spending the day learning how to make your grandma's homemade ravioli, or helping your mom in her garden in the spring.
One of my childhood Christmas memories that sticks out the most to me, is the year that my parents, who were separated, got back together right before Christmas. There wasn't much under the tree, but I can remember that me and my sister both got these bright neon bathing suits that were too small (because back then you couldn't really buy swimwear in Western PA in the middle of winter) to take with us to an indoor pool or water park. TBH, I don't know that we ever made it to the indoor pool, but I sure do remember spending the holiday together.
We get so consumed with the idea of "things" that we tend to forget what is really important.
There is no price tag on making memories with the ones you love. (And the wrapping part is pretty simple, too!)
So, if you choose to gift presence over presents this holiday, just remember to be fully present when you're sharing that time with your loved ones. Try practicing active listening (making eye contact, asking questions, validating the other person's experience) and detaching from devices (no phones at mealtime).
What are some ways that you could gift your time and presence? I encourage you to get creative and have fun with this gift idea. After all, gift-giving should be fun!
Share your ideas in the comments below! I'd love to hear what you come up with!
Happy gifting!